Speak before you think!
by tuck
Summary: What's going on here? Something is up with Steph. Ranger has a job for her. An FTA is an old friend. A little unusual fic here. Possibly some angst ahead. Rated M Humor and Angst, cause the muse isn't sure yet!
1. Chapter 1

AN: I don't own them, JE does. I make no profit, just having fun! This story is a little out there, I hurt my neck at Zumba, so I'm blaming the muscle relaxers. It was a fun idea, hope you like it! And the Spanish is from the internet, so I apologize if it's incorrect. Many thanks to Dee and Liz!

Knock knock knock.

"Gianna Rodriguez? I'm with Vincent Plum Bail Bonds. I need to take you to reschedule your court date. It'll only take a half hour."

The door opened revealing a nearly six foot tall woman with long silky black hair. She placed one rail-like limb on the doorway and revealed a half smile.

"Stephanie Plum, you seriously think you're gonna bring me in?"

"Gigi! I didn't recognize you from the photo. Your hair is so different now."

"Yeah, no more braids for me. So I missed my court date? My ex is quite a piece of work! This whole mess is his fault, and now I'm gonna look real guilty to the judge."

"Unfortunately both your names were on the lease. Even though you missed your date, there's always a chance the judge will still be lenient. I'll give my brother-in-law a call. He's a lawyer. If he can't help; I'm sure I may know someone who can."

Gigi was a year behind Steph at Trenton Central High. She was incredibly fast, and competed at the state level track and field finals three years in a row.

"You just have to come with me to the station right now. I'll call ahead and have someone meet us to re-bond you right out."

"Thank you. And thanks for the offer too. I'm living with my abuela right now, she's not well, so my sister and I are helping my mother to take care of her."

At that moment, the door was flung fully open and a pair of beady eyes glared at Steph. The woman was about half the size of Gigi. She was wearing a floral housecoat and had white wiry hair pulled into a tight bun. She glared at Steph and began muttering in rapid Spanish.

"Wow! I thought Briggs was short. What are you, three feet tall?!" Realizing she said that out loud, Steph slapped her hand over her mouth.

"OhMyGodIcan'tbelieveIjustsaidthat!" Steph groaned.

The woman stopped in mid rant. Steph watched as her barely there white eyebrows shot up into her hairline. The woman then turned on Gigi and began a new rant while still pointing at Steph.

"Abuela, callate. Está bien. Ella está aquí para ayudarnos. (Grandma, quiet. It's ok. She's here to help.)

The woman made a finger waving gesture at Steph.

"I know you. You trouble. You speak to me that way! My Gianna is not going with you!"

Gigi placed one hand on her abuela's arm and turned back into the house.

"Shayna! I need you!"

Gigi glared at her abuela who was now chanting in Spanish. She rolled her eyes and turned to Steph.

"I'll just have my sister take care of her, and I'll be right out behind you."

Steph only hesitated for a few seconds. Many times that was the last thing a skip told her before they ran out the back door. But she didn't think Gigi would try that. Not that it really mattered. If she wanted to run, Steph would never catch her.

"Ok, I'm going to make that call to the Bond's office. I'll tell them we'll be there in twenty minutes."

Steph dug out her cell and walked back down the stairs. She began to dial as she walked across the sidewalk. A chill went up her spine. She was glad to get away from that woman; there was something very eerie about her. As she turned towards her car, she slid and lost her balance. Her feet flew out from under her, and she heard a "whack" as her head hit the sidewalk.

She sat up immediately and began rubbing the back of her head. Gigi was in front of her, looking her up and down.

"Steph! Are you ok? Did you break anything?"

Steph felt her left arm burning near her elbow. Brush burn, she thought. She shook her head at Gigi, who then offered her hand and pulled Steph up.

"I'll be fine. You ready?" Steph gestured towards her car. "Your abuela didn't seem to like me too much."

Gigi nodded. "Yeah, but she's like that with everyone these days. Physically she's very healthy for 80, but she's been deteriorating mentally."

Gigi and Steph got into Steph's POS sedan. Steph dialed the Bond's office and asked Connie to meet them at the station. Tossing the cell into her purse, she started the car and glanced back at the house. She could see a pair of beady eyes glaring at her through the front window.

Gigi waved at her abuela. "Still chanting." She muttered.

Steph was about the put the car into gear when the door to the house opened.

"Just go, Shayna will get her." Gigi stated calmly as her abuela began waddling down the stairs. Steph pulled out and slowly drove down the block. She didn't want to leave until she was certain the old woman was safely back inside. Looking into the rear view mirror, she saw the old woman picking something up from the ground. A young woman with long black hair came up behind her and gently tugged her back to the house.

"She'll be fine Steph. Are you sure your head's ok?"

"I'm good. I have a lot of mishaps on the job. I'm pretty good at assessing my injuries now. It'll be a nice goose egg." She smiled. "As soon as we meet up with Connie, I'll go home and ice it."

Steph shivered as another cold chill ran straight up her spine, she shook it off and focused on the road.

*********************

Steph woke with a start. Tossing the blanket over the back of the couch, she began looking for her cell. After getting Gigi rebonded, she came home, iced her head and took a nap on the couch. The Batman theme was coming from her purse that she had left on the kitchen counter.

"Yo!" Steph smiled.

"That's my line, Babe."

"What can I do for you, Ranger?"

"I'll let that one pass, Babe, since I know I just woke you."

How did he know that? Steph wondered.

"I have my ways, Babe."

Damn ESP.

"Got a job for you later. Meet me at the Bond's office in twenty, we'll talk."

Why the bonds office? Well, Connie did say she has some new files for her.

"Connie has some files for you. And I have to speak with Vinnie."

How does he do that! Why can't she learn? She heard Ranger chuckle.

"Earth to Babe. See you in twenty."

Would it kill him to ask, not tell!

"Yeah, Ranger." She heard the click as he disconnected.

"Well _that_ I knew was coming!" She grumbled as she set down her cell.

On the counter was the box of chocolates Grandma Mazur had given her on Easter Sunday. Steph smiled as she read the quote on the magnet that her Grandmother had also included with the chocolate.

"**All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."**

She placed the magnet on her fridge and smiled. She grabbed a chocolate and popped it into her mouth. She went into the bathroom to attempt to fix her crazy mane. Hmm. Her hair wasn't too bad. She just needed to add some more mascara and a little lip gloss. Wincing, she reached up and touched the back of her head. As she turned, she noticed dried blood on her left sleeve.

"Guess it was more than a brush burn."

She peeled off her shirt and went into her bedroom. She really needed to do laundry. Other than distraction clothes, she couldn't find anything clean enough to wear. There was the black T shirt she slept in last night. Being that is was Ranger's, she knew wearing it in public, least of all to the bond's office, was not a good idea. Going back into her closet she grabbed a red V neck tank. It had sparkly details along the V. If she paired it with some sandals, it wouldn't look too dressy with her curvy jeans. She would just get her files, talk to Ranger, and try to get some laundry done. Whoever the new skips were, they could wait another day.

Knowing Ranger didn't enjoy waiting, she hustled back to her bathroom to clean up her arm.

********

Steph was 3 blocks from the Bond's office. Her cell rang.

"I'm almost there."

"I can see you. I have to see Vinnie first before he slithers away."

That didn't sound good, for Vinnie. But Steph knew better than to ask.

"I'll be waiting."

"Babe." He disconnected. Steph saw him walk inside the office as she waited to turn into the lot.

She put the car in park and adjusted the strap of her tank top.

Walking into the office, she almost laughed at the tell tale signs of a Ranger sighting. Connie was rapidly fanning herself with a file, while Lula was staring open mouthed at Vinnie's office door. Figuring Connie would need another minute, Steph walked over to Lula first.

"Hey Lula." Lula was leaning against the filing cabinet, chewing on her bottom lip. She twitched a little at the sound of Steph's voice but was still focused on the door.

Steph was about to say something to try to snap Lula out of the Ranger induced trance. When she heard…

_Still the finest man I've evah seen. Now my Tank is fine, more than enough for Lula. But I really have ta know, and white girl ain't sharing...not that I really blame her. Hmm, wonder if he would be into swingin'….definitely some Bondage….S&M. He only has eyes for Steph…damn she be so lucky, if only she'd get wit the program!_

Steph's eyes snapped to Lula's mouth. Lula was still chewing her bottom lip. Steph shook her head.

"Lula?! Snap out of it!"

"What? You don't have to shout, girl. I can hear ya." Lula smiled at Steph and shut the file drawer. She passed by Steph.

_Tho' I'm sure Batman likes it when you're loud._

Steph spun around and watched Lula plop down onto the couch. Guess ignoring that comment would be best; Vinnie probably had some new bugs planted on Connie desk.

She walked over to Connie, who was filing her nails. Steph was about to ask about the new files when Connie smiled up at her.

_Well the shirt is an improvement. If only she'd do her nails once in a while, maybe try some eyeliner. She's got real beauty, she shouldn't hide it. Wonder if she'd let me make her over?_

Steph just stared. Connie's mouth never moved. Not. At. All. What the hell was going on here!?

TBC?

Word count 1846


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I don't, JE does. Just some fun. A little bit different. Please let me know what you think, I can't read minds you know! The Spanish quote is from a challenge, though online translators disagree on the exact translation. Its intended meaning is included.**

**Speak Before You Think! Chapter 2**

_Steph just stared. Connie's mouth never moved. Not. At. All. What the hell was going on here!?_

Connie smiled. Steph was frozen in place. She could feel her heartbeat pounding in her eardrums.

"Here you go, Steph. You've got Mooner, and two newbie's. I ran some info on them for you." She lowered her voice. "No real hurry here, I just didn't know if you needed more cash soon."

Steph slowly backed away, keeping her eyes fixed on Connie. Connie picked up her file and examined her nails. Steph looked at the files in her trembling hand, not even aware that she had taken them.

"Need any help, white girl?"

Steph shook her head. She had to get out of here. Glancing at Vinnie's door, she paused. Ranger wouldn't be very happy that she didn't wait for him. He'd find her and tell her so. And then he'd want to know why. She gestured towards the door.

"Just tell him I'll be outside."

I just need some air, she thought.

*****

Steph leaned against the brick wall of the alley. The late afternoon sun was quite warm, but the bricks felt cool against her shoulders. She closed her eyes. She took in a long deep breath, the tenth one since walking out of the office, and slowly let it out. Her heart beat had finally slowed to a normal rate.

"Breathing that way is like waving a flag at a bull. Though I really do love you in red."

Steph opened her eyes to find herself surrounded by Ranger. His lips millimeters from her own. She gasped. He threaded a hand through her hair and covered her mouth with his own. She clutched onto his T shirt as the kiss deepened.

The words, "...love you in red," kept tumbling in her mind, until she heard.

_**Cada día te quiero más que ayer y menos que mañana. (I love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow.)**_

At that exact moment, a car went speeding through the alley. The blaring sounds of a Latin beat pouring out from the inside. Ranger pushed Steph against the wall. He broke off their kiss and buried his face into her curls. Steph flinched as Ranger's hand brushed the back of her head. He pulled back to look at her, but then diverted his attention to the car that was still idling nearby.

Before Steph could blink, Ranger had his glock aimed and was facing the vehicle. She glanced at the black Mercedes; it could have easily been one of his cars.

"Stay out of sight." He said over his shoulder.

Steph just stared as Ranger slowly approached the passenger's side. As if they expected him, the window began to open wider.

Deciding she'd seen enough, Steph stayed as close to the wall as possible and slowly crept out of the alley.

Some rainclouds had started rolling in, and she made it inside her car just before drops began to fall. Slouching back into the seat, she pinched the bridge of her nose. How could I be hearing thoughts? That's crazy! But…she knew Ranger's voice, and she heard it while his mouth was definitely busy doing other things.

"What did he say?" She frowned. 'que…quiero ayer menos mañana' She shook her head. Sleep, sleep would help. Whatever this was, she wasn't dealing with it anymore today. She started her car and headed for home.

Her cell began to ring. Not the Batman theme, she sighed in relief.

"Hello."

"Hey, Cupcake. I just picked up the Chinese food. Are you heading over soon?"

"Joe." She paused. Steph forgot about their dinner plans. Joe had been working long hours for nearly a week. He was working again tonight, but they had planned on meeting for an early dinner.

"Steph. Are you ok?"

"Joe. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm on the way to my place right now. I'm not feeling that great."

"Ok. Well, we can eat there instead. I'll see you in 15 minutes."

Steph felt a flicker of panic in her stomach. "I don't know. I could be getting sick, maybe you shouldn't."

"Cupcake, I haven't seen you in days. If you're not up to eating, I won't stay long."

Steph sighed quietly. Things had been a little rocky between them over the last few weeks. They'd had another fight. He had been working again with Terry Gilman and neglected to tell her. When she questioned him on it, he retaliated with his usual complaints about her job and his issues with Ranger.

"Ok Joe. I'll see you there. Bye."

"Bye."

*********

Steph got out some plates and forks and set them on the counter. She gingerly rubbed the back of her head. The swelling had gone down significantly, but her head was still throbbing. Maybe she had a slight concussion. That would explain some things.

Hearing the locks on her door tumble, she turned to the fridge and began searching for some drinks. She grabbed a beer for Joe but figured water would be the better choice for her. Placing the beer on the counter, she reached back into the fridge to get the last bottle of water. She heard a scraping next to her as he picked up the bottle and opened it. Water in hand, she closed the fridge and went to grab the paper towels that were next to the sink. Staying on the far side of the kitchen, she turned to face him.

"You got here right behind me; I thought you said 15—"

Steph felt her mouth fall open as her gaze fell upon Ranger. He was leaning against the counter, finishing Joe's beer.

Before she could recover, she again heard her locks tumble. Ranger quirked an eyebrow.

"It's Joe. We had dinner plans. I forgot."

Ranger's cell rang. He checked the display before he answered. He then began speaking in Spanish and walked into the living room.

Steph dropped everything onto the counter and hurried over to the door to help Joe with the food.

"Hello Cupcake. Look out; one of the bags is leaking." Joe brushed by her and hustled to the counter.

Steph stopped at the entrance to the kitchen. She watched as Joe began removing the containers and setting up the food.

"It was only my Won Ton Soup. I'll just leave it in the bag for now." He crossed to the sink and washed his hands.

Steph moved over to the counter nervously glancing towards the living room. Joe wouldn't be happy to find that Ranger was here with her.

She moved closer to Joe. She'll just explain that Ranger was just leaving; he dropped in about a job for her… No, that wouldn't be good. He had information on one of her skips? Nope, just as bad. Why couldn't Ranger just stop by to visit? He was her friend.

Joe grabbed a dish towel before finally looking in her direction. "You look really nice! Feeling any better?"

Steph nodded absent mindedly. Joe tossed the towel aside and pulled her into a hug. He rubbed her shoulders and back before sliding his hands down to her ass.

_I've missed the feel of her. Her tits look amazing in this shirt. She couldn't have worn this skip tracing? Changed for me? If only..._

Steph pulled back and snapped her eyes up at him. He smiled down at her and captured her mouth. Squeezing her ass, he pulled her up against him. She felt him harden against her stomach. He began walking her backwards into the living room. He slid one hand into her hair as he continued to devour her mouth.

_So soft and sweet. Just get to the couch…bedroom would give her time to reconsider. Need this, can't be tempted to…_

Steph's mind was reeling. What!? She twisted her mouth away from his.

She pressed her hands against his chest and shoved really hard. Joe grabbed her hands with one of his, and kept one arm on her waist.

"Sure, Cupcake. Let's eat first." Rubbing her back gently, his gaze left her eyes and traveled down her body.

First?! Her mind screamed! What happened to 'if you're not up to _**eating**_, I won't stay long.'

She pulled away from him completely and backed further away. He smiled. She bristled.

"Can't be tempted to _**what**_, Joe?!" She bit out.

Joe opened his mouth to speak, but said nothing. He looked confused. He put his hands on his hips and looked down at the floor. Steph decided to wait him out. She crossed her arms and sighed loudly.

He looked up at her tentatively. "Steph, I…" He looked over her right shoulder and his expression darkened immediately.

Realization dawning on her, Steph spun around and nearly stumbled into Ranger.

She watched as his expressionless eyes flickered between her and Joe, before finally locking onto hers.

_Mine._

TBC


End file.
